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Week 3- Relationships

Hello everyone! Welcome to week 3. Thank you so much for continuing to come back. I hope everyone has had a wonderful week. I hope you're all enjoying the content so far. What are you snacking on this week? I'm eating some spaghetti. It's a bit more messy than my usual snack. Let's jump right in! As you've probably guessed, this week I'm going to talk about relationships.

Relationships in our lives are so important. We have many different kinds with different people: our relationships with our children, our spouse or partner(s), relationships with family, and friends, etc. We have many gardens to tend to and water in our lives. Some of us enjoy having many relationships with others, and some are happy with just a few great ones. It can be so wonderful when they flourish, yet so devastating when they completely fall apart. Who are some of the most important people to you?

What makes us love? Why do we gravitate toward certain people? How do we love our kids before we even meet them? I believe, as people, we need relationships. We seek companionship. We lean on others and need to know we aren't alone. We long to feel loved and cared for. Sometimes we can long for these relationships so much that we may bend our boundaries for them. We may accept things and behaviors that we don't usually agree to. Where do we draw the line? Why can we have our shit together in certain parts of our lives, yet fold in others? Are we being fair and true to ourselves?

The relationship we have with our kids is something so magical. Many parents will often say that they have never loved someone so much. As a parent I find this to be true. We do anything for these tiny human beings. We raise them from tiny babies into adults. I often find myself wondering what they'll be like when they're older. What will their personalities be like? What kind of people will they be? Relationships with your kids change and evolve over time. Some stages are a bit less frustrating than others, but not by too terribly much. It seems like there's always something new to worry about. There's always a new like or dislike they have. When they're babies, we fiercely watch over their every move, making sure we keep them safe. We sleep so light and infrequently just to be ready for anything. The relationship with ourselves start to change here too. Our needs and wants hit the back burner. As they mature to crawling and walking, we have new worries. What if they fall down the stairs? What if they pick something up the one second I turn my head because someone knocked at the door? Gaaaahhh! We really start to see their personalities grow and change. We're everything we can be for our children. Who else constantly worries about doing the right things for them? Making the right decisions for them. It gets extremely nerve wrecking. It's also so wonderful. Relationships with your children are like a roller coaster: ups and downs. Frustrations and wonderfully happy moments. How can they go to having the attitude of a mountain one second and them giving you a hug that melts away all of your frustrations the next? Our kids will always be our priorities. The second these humans are born, they have our hearts forever. Now that my kids are getting older, their personalities are evolving even more. Their interests are changing. Their career goals are different. They're their own person who's constantly changing. My kids have these individual, beautiful personalities that I'm so excited to get to know. They're unique. They have different talents, likes and dislikes. I for one, encourage them to be themselves. Water those flowers. Let those unique traits grow. Encourage them to seek out their passions. Get excited about what they love! It's a frustrating, terrifying, and beautiful relationship to have.

Relationships with partner(s), or your spouse/nesting partner, is so important. There are different kinds. Weather you're gay, straight, polyamorous, monogamous, bisexual, pansexual, transsexual, asexual, or any other kind of sexuality, you deserve to be ridiculously happy. There are some of us out there who don't have these relationships. That's 100% ok. Maybe some of us feel more comfortable by ourselves. Maybe some of us haven't found exactly who we're looking for yet. These relationships can be so wonderful. When we have partners who are genuinely concerned for our well being and want to see us succeed, we've hit the jackpot. These ones are very important to water. These relationships thrive on communication, give and take, honesty and openness. Find someone who truly makes you happy. Partnerships really can not only work, but flourish when we put in the work and think about the other person. These can hit some road blocks or even get a bit stale. This is normal. I've been with my husband for 10 years. People who just meet us swear we're in our honeymoon phase. We love each other deeply. We have a great partnership, because we work together. There are no gender roles here. We do what needs to get done. We both work full time, and when it's time to get home there's a laundry list of things to do. He can cook and clean and I can shovel or mow. Or vice versa. The point is, I don't care exactly what job I do, and he doesn't care either. We just work together. We're constantly trying to find ways of keeping the other one happy. We try to show gestures of love. We also still date each other. Do things sometimes get bumpy? Absolutely. Do they sometimes get stale? Yup. Do we then have to find new and exciting ways to get freaky? You bet. The point is, keep trying. Get creative. Don't stop watering that plant. Give it some miracle grow. Talk to it lovingly. One thing we found helpful was taking the love languages test. It was very beneficial to know what love language the other spoke the most. The breakdown is there are 5 love languages: Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Gift Giving, and Words of Affirmation. You take this test (You can find it on the internet or in books) and see where you rank with all 5. My top 2 heavy hitters were physical touch and quality time. Don's ended up being quality time and acts of service. I started doing more things to show him I love and appreciate him. I also started really being aware of how much time I'm setting aside for us. In return, he started being more aware of physical touch. Even if it's just wrapping his arms around me. I personally think, that relationships can really fail when we aren't communicating our needs. We need to use our voice to tell the other when something isn't right. If your boundaries are being compromised, or if you're feeling resentful or unhappy, speak up. I sometimes find myself being mad about something and just fuming in the corner thinking he should know what he did. We all are guilty of this at times. Communication is so very important. I just can't stress that enough. Open up. Never stop trying to make each other happy. Get counseling. Take needed vacations. Be present. Be happy.

The relationships we have with our friends and family can be both wonderful and not so wonderful. I have family who I'm not the closest to, and I have friends who I have extremely tight bonds with. You don't have to be blood to be family. Not by a long shot. Make sure your boundaries are held here too. It's ok if you need to take steps back sometimes. It's important to make sure you're maintaining what's important to you. I have some family that I don't get along with. I don't talk to them. I don't spend time with them. Some people do not agree with this. It's often expected that we always bend over backwards for family, because it's the right thing to do. I don't agree with this. If there are family who are toxic and abusive, weather it be physically or mentally, you are not obligated to endure their presence. The fact is, you can't change someone. You can't help them see your view if they aren't willing to listen. Make sure you're making your needs a priority to you. Find people who you love. Find people who support you and cheer you on. Find people who not only encourage you to let your freak flag fly, but who help you hold it up. In turn, make sure there's a healthy give and take. Be happy. This life is short. Enjoy it. Be true to yourself. Don't forget to love yourself in the process.

Thank you everyone for sticking through another week. I'm absolutely loving this. I really hope you continue to come back. Thank you for all of the support and the subscribers. Please share this blog and tell everyone you know about it. Thanks! Have an absolutely fabulous week.

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