Welcome back everyone! I hope you've all had an absolutely amazing week. What did you do this past week? How has this winter been treating you? What are you snacking on this week? This week, I'm having coffee and water, no snack as of yet. I'm sitting down early in the morning. Here we go!
This week I wanted to talk about accepting yourself for who you are. Sounds easy right? Nope. Maybe it is for some, but not for all of us. Why is it so hard? I think that growing up we had a vision of what we're supposed to be like, and when/if we change, it's hard to accept that. When we're younger we want to make our parents/family/friends proud of us and who we are/our accomplishments. As we get older we still want that, but now we can have a family and people who rely on us. It feels like there's always others we think about before ourselves. I believe that a lot of us don't really even know everything there is to know about ourselves until we're older. It also changes constantly. Just like in self care, getting to know yourself is very important. It's definitely worth exploring.
Each of us are unique individuals. Our likes and dislikes can change like we change our socks. This can happen more frequently when we're younger and going through the years at school, coming out of school and figuring out what college or job/career we want to start, next step in our lives, etc. Who we are changes as our experiences as a person grow in number and intensity. It can go from gigapets one day, to furbies the next; flip flops one week and crocks the next; monogomy one year and polyamory the next. The point is, we grow as human beings. As we age our experiences grow in number, intensity, and I believe, importance. There are lessons we learn, challenges we face, people we really get to know, new people we meet, some we need to say goodbye to, new jobs/careers, a growing family, etc. As we grow and learn, we change. Our values change; our beliefs may change; our view on life can change; our sexuality can change; our fucks we give, can definitely change. Sometimes the hardest challenge we can face, is accepting who we see in the mirror. Why is this so difficult? I personally think a big part is that society says we should be a certain way. We need to have these certain beliefs, values, sexual orientation, hobbies, careers, etc. If people like something that's outside the norm, it seems to freak a lot of people out, or at least throw them off. Why? When did it become acceptable to expect everyone to be a carbon copy of each other? Why is there always a need to categorize people? How boring!
I say we start embracing our differences. I think it's absolutely worth really taking some time to figure out who you are and what you like. Really think about it. Investigate your interests. Dress the way your want, as long as you're not endangering others, or hopefully yourself, act the way you want. Stand up for yourself. Protect yourself. Love yourself. These things can be really hard to do for ourselves. Honestly, right now in my thirties, I'm the most comfortable with myself than I've ever been. The pressure of school, career, peers, is gone. I've come to find my quirks, values, beliefs very important to myself, and I run with them. I've had really hard things happen in my life. I've had things that have completely rocked me to my core. It's changed the person who I am. I used to fight with certain changes, but now I realize that it has caused me to shed my old self, and welcome the new one. If I could go back and tell my younger self something, it would be to just be myself and screw what others think of it. Out of all of life's lessons, that's been the hardest one to overcome.
How can we feel better and have an easier time accepting ourselves? The truth is, I don't know. It's something I've struggled with as well. I don't have a good answer for why what others think can hold us back. I don't know why we crave acceptance from others so much to the point where we can hide things about ourselves. Love the person in the mirror. Be proud of who you are. Work on it every single day. Replace saying negative things about yourself, with positive things. Start opening up to those close to you on who you are. If that person has changed, reintroduce yourself to others. Share your passions and interests with others. They may not understand, but what if they do? What if you can teach them something new? As a people, I think we're afraid of change. We're afraid of going out of our comfort zone. If we can figure out a way to overcome this, think of the ways we can grow.
How can we make someone else feel comfortable about opening up to us about who they are? We can make ourselves open and available to those close to us. We can listen and offer a non judgmental ear. We can be supportive of them 100% We can ask questions and put forth an effort into learning about who they are and what their interests are. We can be a safe place for them. In a world that judges and blames others for the way they are, be the one who shows understanding and acceptance. You could make the biggest difference in someone's life. You can help them feel more comfortable about self acceptance. Thank you so much for joining me this week. I hope to see you back next week!!